Eye for an eye

As i told you before, it was a drink for a drink and now it's blood for blood. nextly, it's frère fool! not fraire! if you're gonna use a different language do it right dammit!

Anyways, i just got through 24 hours of having no e-mail and no messenger. i tell you it's torture, specially on a day where it's cold and snowy and i'm the only person at home with nowhere to go. on the plus side i did discover the greatness that is the movie "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" seriously a kick ass movie! cheezy to the core but the Chiodo (sounds almost like Kyoto) brother did a brilliant job of creating a film that's almost as old as me. seriously everyone must see this film. you won't regret it!
-Matt

Indeed........

ah yes, the recycled carbonated beverages. Now I must admit that was a Grade A prank, but to reply to that, I didn't even drink any other than the shit that coated my mouth, once I realized how much it tasted like ass I spit it back into the bottle capped it, and then proceeded to throw it at Matt's face. I got him in the mouth and made him bleed.....A fitting response to a little fucktard like him........... touche mon fraire.

-Errol

Out of the oven and into the deep freeze

I swear this past week was the freaking coldest I can remember. At one point it had gotten down to -45 degrees without the wind. I guess it would be all that bad if it was always cold, like you'd eventually adjust to the weather and it wouldn't seem so bad after a while. but no! we have to have a freaking summer where it got up to 33 degrees during the day, and then after that we get a freaking winter where at night it got down to -45...that's a 88 degree difference! it's so annoying, the temperture varies so much here it's not even funny, i tell you Alberta's got the most messed up weather anywhere.it can rain one minute and then be clear the next. snow one second and then melt away in an instant. bloody alberta weather. blast it!
-Matt

Recycled Revenge

Revenge is a dish best served cold...or in this case luke warm right Errol? Let me elaborate, but first you need some background on the reason behind the prank...

(queue flash back music)
it was a warm September evening back in 2003, unusually warm for that time of year when the leaves change to different shades of orange, yellow, and red. Boredom ran amuck, and in a small Albertan town there is little to do. That fateful evening will live forever in infamy. it had been planned for some time, while the exact details of the night were ever changing, the basic idea of the night was always the same...get loaded. as i look back upon it now i realize that i had forgotten one very important thing, when you drink you get drunk, and when you get drunk you lose the ability to think. that being said, i now go back to the situation. i had had a few drinks already, and was finding walking to be difficult so i had Errol mix my next drink...i think he said later on the it was 3/4 rum and rye and 1/4 coke (it could be different but i'm not sure). Needless to say, it tasted like something you would scrape off the bottom of your shoe. Then i was convinced by a certain dip shit that i should drink it really fast so i wouldn't have to taste it...big mistake, things got a little hazy after that...well after the next drink that someone else made me, once again the fast drinking came into play.
(return to the present)

I bided my time, waiting for the moment to strike. the time came yesterday, after a long time since the incident i had hoped he had forgotten my vow of revenge, and he did. What did i do you ask? well i was at school being bored, and the perfect prank hit me. (after some inspiration from other people) i went around my school to all the recyling bins and took all the pop bottles that had any amount of pop in them and poured it all into 2 bottles (2 because i was hoping i could get someone else at the same time). He drank it, but me being me i couldnt let him drink more then that first drink. but the payback was complete, indeed wasn't it errol? en garde!
-Matt

I hate kids, plain and simple.

so here I am, trying to sleep in on this beautifully cold friday morning and i'm roused by the shrill shriek of 5 year old girls. the neighbours are all at my house getting hair cuts and well, they HAVE TO BRING THEIR FUCKING KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so now i'm obligted to be nice to them, which I don't have too much of a problem with, the boys are cool, they're quiet and they're content to sit and play with my collection of ninja turtles. speaking of the turtles, i actually just gave most of mine away, my neighbour likes them so much and he had never seen or heard of them, I felt duty-bound to give them to him so that he can experience the full, happy childhood that I had...........what a crock of shit, childhood blew as much ass as daytime talk shows.

but goddamnit, these girls are going through my vast collection of lego and they're re-arranging it so they can make a HOUSE!!!!! A FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!!! I don't have those legos, all i'vw got is castle, space and wild west, everybody is a cold-blooded killer with plenty of guns, but THEY have to make a FUCKING HOUSE!!!!! godamnit, and theyr'e making these shitty horse sounds and I wanna snap!!!!!!!!!!

-Errol

and it goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on

so here i am, sitting around with nothin to do and then it hits me like a pan to the head...BLOG!!!!!!!!

because of exams and what not i don't have to go to school right, so i've been lougin' around the house alot, chillaxin' if you will. but i really have nothin to do once my bro gets home because he needs his computer for school stuff, now i do have a computer next to my room but it's really basic so all i can do is pretty much go online but i can't because my bro needs the net for school work. ya, we only have one phone line and are on dial up, because i live in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere! so ya, now normally i would plop myslef down on the couch and watch some dvds or play some xbox.......but the tv in the basement has gone all screwy since it's around 25 years old and now i can't do either........so i'm so fucking bored......i feel like bashing my head against my door but then i'd wake my dad up then i'd be really fucked........ya............i've been reduced to reading several year old pcgamers and listening to music in my room, now that is really boring...........indeed

-Errol

The joys of boredom

here i am, at school, putzing around because there are exams and i can't work til all the people are gone. so what do i do? get an x-box, get some movies and presto! instant do nothing but piss around all day day (there are supposed to be two days). recently i've discovered the goodness that is Msytery Science Theater 3000. i know i know, it's a bit geeky but truely hilarious. old crappy movies being made fun of by a guy and two robots stuck out in a satellite around earth is enough to make anyone laugh. but now i must go and watch the movies and play some halo.
-Matt

Caring about Segregation

I do some weird things sometimes, like the other day i found myself watching the carebears movie 2 and at one point during the movie they separated the carebears from the carebear cousins. now i took this to be symbolic of segregation. think about it, the careBEARS were in the majority right, so they symbolize good ol' Whitey, while the carebear cousins who were all the visible minorities, such as lions, monkies and horses, represent just that, the visible minorities. and while the bears got to live in nice houses, the cousins had tolive homeless lives in the jungle when they were growing up. so i've come to the conclusion that caebears is a horrible show that has underlying messages supporting racism and segregation and thus is a horrible show for small children, lest we want another Hitler on our hands.
-Matt

Worst job in existance

i've been pondering this for a long time now, i always wondered what the worst job in the world would have to be...like would it be a garbage man? no, they get paid alot and so what it's just garbage. Janitor? no it's easy work. mayhaps a person working in a sewage treatment plant, nah they get to play with all sorts of fun doodads, plus you can find some pretty sweet stuff that you can pawn off as long as you don't say where it came from. no i've decided that the worst possible job you can have is being a packer in a fudge factory. imagine how your children would deal with this, imaginewhat would happen the day the teacher asks the child what his or her parents do, i think it would go something like this...

Teacher: What does your daddy do Timmy?
Timmy: He's a fudge packer!
Teacher: now Timmy that's not very nice. now really what does he do?
Timmy: I told you! he packs fudge all day long!
Teacher: Now Timmy you are just being rude.
Timmy: I'm telling the truth! honest! Everyday he and lots of other men go into a big room and they all pack fudge.
Teacher: Timmy!!!
Timmy: and sometimes when we need more money he packs fudge til really late at night!
Teacher: That's it Timmy! go to the principles office!
Timmy: but but but i was tellng the truth!

And that's how i think it would go. Thus traumitizing the poor child and making him affraid of talking about his father and costing him thousands in doctor fees for the therapy he needs after his nervous break down when he's asked if he wants a fudge sundae.
-Matt

Another piece of fuel for the fire

ya know i was just reading through some of the past blogs on this site and i came across something very interesting, in louis's pro religion blog he said approxiamtely that " ya christians did some bad things but so did Adolf Hitler and the European kings and the American presidents" well then it dawned on me.......EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM WAS CHRISTIAN!!!!!!! there has never been a non-christian Europen king, or american president, and hitler was so goddamn fanatic he was probly more devote than jesus

-Errol

and that's how the dumb bitch ruined my semester..........stupid bitch

ya that exam was mighty gay, Elton John gay. but to clear some minor things up that might be confusing, the essay we wrote was not worth 50% of our total mark, the essay and a multiple choice exam is worth the 50, so you're not totally fucked, but you're still fucked because it's HALF YOUR FUCKING MARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh ya and to correct myself from an earlier blog. apparently it's no p.s.s it's p.p.s etc...... who knew?

-Errol

The day the memory died

Ah yes! I too had to write that gay essay today, very same one, except I did read death of a salesman, let me tell you...It didn't help much. Seriously, you try writing a damn essay on the significance of memories of the past and support it with examples from literature that you read in class. i seriously don't get the point of diplomas, 50% of your mark on one freaking test. 50%!!!! basically whether or not you fail the course is decided by one test, worst of all it's all luck of the draw if you're prepared for it or not. no one knows what the essay question will be about and no one knows if the stories and whatnot that were read in class will have any relevance to the question. so it's things like these where even the english teachers were choked about it. stupid stupid question, and stupid stupid essay.
-Matt

What a stupid bitch

holy shit boys and girls.......I just had a rough morning.

to start off, for the last couple days we've had freezing rain so the roads aren't too safe, and we've been having some speratic power outages as well so it's kinda crazy 'round here.

but here's the deal, today...the dayt i write the 1st half of my english diploma exam, we have both, the rain and the outage, ya the rain cancelled the buses so there were no classes today which is all right but i had to get driven to school which was gay. then about 10 minutes before the exam was to begin when the teachers were setting up the computers, we had a power outage that lasted for about 5 minutes of so, so the exam started late............goddamnit why is the world arrayed against me? what the fuck did i ever do to it???

on top of the the essay topic had to do with the signifacance of memories, and almost everyone that wasn't in my class found it really easy, ya wanna know why my classmates and i found it kinda difficult? cuz our stupid bitch of a teacher didn't want to give us death of a salesman to read... and that fuckin book is all the guys memories..... jesus fuckin christ sonofabitch cocksuckin whore. damnit!!!!!!

-Errol

Bloggy the Blogginist Blogster that ever Blogged

hello children, i'm feelin' alot better today thanx to my little introspection last night, and now back to business and a blog to end all blogs.

Ya know what, i just realized that even though this is matt (hereby refered to as boyo) 's blog site, he rarely blogs. what kinda shit is that. i mean c'mon man you have people who depend on you so that they can laugh at your utter stupidity and ignorance of the world, you're letting your public down there boyo. also, this morning after i woke up i had somewhat of an epiphany.......I have a exams starting in 3 days, i don't have time to waste being a morose mother fucker alright, no one shits in my cereal (LONG LIVE KEVIN SMITH!!!!!!!!!!) now that i have that out of the way it's time to return to has been promised to you.........a really bitchy rant. well.....actually i was gonna do a really bitchy rant but then i'm like fuck that noise, i got exams to study for and so my pretties i bid you adieu.

-Errol

P.S. Fuck all the flags, the greed, the world leaders
P.S.S. I lead, the mice on parade, down to the river of kool aid, and open up the flood gates
P.S.S.S. (this one's for u boyo)........................................eat shit you butt-fucking cock-bite :)

Out of Character

Today, is going to be a little different. Now I know Matt has promised all of you some spectacular rants coming from me (which there will be I assure you) due to my "unique bitchyness", but not today. Lately I've been kinda morose due to.........situations completely out of my control. Today, for instance, I spent all day in my room, studying for my english and social diploma exams, listening to some of my compilation disks that I've made over the years. As I'm listening a track comes on that I hadn't heard in a while, and I really like the song, it's Broken Words by Finger Eleven. As i'm listening the course comes on and the lyrics go "She's the one who saw my words, broken, torn at the seams. And broken words are all she heard, now she's walking away from me." At this point I realized that I was crying, a lyric made me cry. Now for those who know me they should know that that is not like me at all, but there I was laying on my bed, books in front of me with tears in my eyes. Now I'd like to end this little introspection with a quote, actually another lyric - "Walk into this world with your head up high" - Deftones

RE: Thus Proven

that was the entire point, the absense of tact. and i'm not tempermental, i'm actually a rather easy-going person, really i am.

-Errol

Thus proven

And so it is shown that if you poke him he will snap. *poke poke* nextly i want to point something out...

tact (takt), n. ability to say and do the right things; skill in dealing with people or handling difficult situations.

now...where in all that you said was there even the slightest inkling of tact? but as most of you can now see, he's very temprementle, i've spent many a day provoking him to cheer myself up, just wait til he goes on one of his bigger rants...don't worry they'll come.

oh yeah. tact is for people not witty enough for sarcasm.
-Matt

AHEM!!!!!

due to the true ignorance of my mentally challenged colleague, i will reply to his attempted character assassination with tact(one thing he has very little of).

2 words buddy.....FUCK YOU you inbred butt-fucking cock-bite, i don't give a shit, if you honestly believe that i have a single ounce of care in me for this useless piece of e-americana you are severely mistaken. if you think that i actually read the background and the uses of this site of capitalism gone rampant, you ae more ignorant than i thought, and further more....go fuck yourself you anal-diving shaggy haired bitch.

thank you for your time

-Errol

The poor little new guy

I see this young grass hopper has yet to learn that special little thing people like to call the edit button. It's a magical little device that allows one to actually CHANGE what has been posted, mind boggling I know! And poor ignorant him not knowing that people have been paid to do this, if he had taken the time to read the blogger main page. Indeed, he is still wet behind the ears but I think that once he gets used to it everyone will show him the same respect that I do...hmmmm...Alright I lied, I don't respect him, but when he gets bitchy it is fun to argue just to see him get mad, it's hilarious, imagine a little bird that's puffing out it's chest it can't do anything other then huff and puff, and then you poke it and it snaps but actually acomplishes very little. that's Errol alright, funny to look at.
-Matt

WTF!!!!!!!!

that is an odd accurance, i go to see if my blog gets published and it's been published twice!!!! fuckin twice!!! stupid goddamn dial-up internet, why can't you do anything right the first time????? I seriously cannot wait until i move out in the summer, Broadband here i come.....i know that alot of you fools that actually read this crap are thinkin' i sound like a fuckin nerd... and ya know what.....to some extent YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!!!! but enough about me and time to get back to this internet shit, can anyone tell me the reason for this blog crap that i'm doing right now? honestly what's the point, if someone really feels the need to write the thoughts and their aspirations and what happened to them last weekend over and over again, the ymight as well write a fuckin book for christ's sake. guarenteed there is at least 1 publishing company that would pay you for your mindless ramblings. and ya know what.....if oprah got a hold of a copy it would probly become an instant best-seller, the new york times and all that crap. but ya, i think i've vented enough for one day but i'll be back.....ohhhhh you can be sure of it, and you'll rue the day you crossed me. HHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!(continue with maniacal laughter)

-Errol

AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!.........................AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


well now that that's over with i might as well start with my first blog, hmm....what to rant about.......it's actually a harder question than you would think, cuz i mean i got lots of good ideas and shit but i can never seem to be able to write them down when i want to, but then again that's how it is with most things...........stupid fuckin mental block.

oh ya, fuck you Matt...fuck you.

-Errol

NEWBIES!!!!!!

YAY! someone new is being added to the Happy Death team! to liven things up seeing as i usually don't have time to blog much right now. he's the stupid little bitchy bastard, Errol! you've all heard of him. now you can delight in his unique bitchyness. taa for now my little ones. taa indeed.
-Matt

The Anime Crisis

Fellow Canadians! (and non-canadians the care) we suffer from a dire shortage, a shortage of the goodness that is anime. there are currently no canadian station that play anime for canadian audiences, sure we can watch american television but that's just one more thing that We Canadians an american alternative for. anyways got to this link to find out more.
-Matt