Update:
- tired
- hungry
- stressed out

But most of all
- pissed off

it's official. i'm fucking trailer trash

Alright, yes yes it's now official i'm trailer trash...well...for the most part anyway. we now have 5 cars in our yard, 3 of which don't work, 1 that's a complete piece of shit that only has one door that can be opened from the outside. we also have a van and a truck, both of which have HUUUUUUUUGE dents in them. the only good vehicle that we have is my brothers, it's a 2001 chev cavelier. seriously it fucking sucks! our yard has more shit in it then a grotesquely obese ass hole who tried to get high on Imodium, we used to have about 15 broken push mowers just sitting around in our yard, we have fucking fence posts all stacked up nice and neat because we don't fucking need them, we have so much shit that we have a shed dedicated to nothing else! it has the bikes my dad was going to rebuild in it but didn't, it's so bad that once when me and my brother were cleaning it out to throw away junk when my dad wasn't home w found a dead cat! a fucking dead cat in the shed!!! and not to mention our garage...i swaer my dad is a packrat. we have a fucking 30 year old toaster in there that he wants to "fix up" and some weird fucking huge black box thing that oes nothing, and our old 40 ear old riding lawn mower that was made by a company that doesn't even exist anymore, it only goes in reverse and 5th gear, it was quite fun actually, it didn't have one of those safetys that made it turn off when the driver gets off so you could put it in high gear jump off and race it. fuck and every year we have to go and clean out our garage **shudders** but that's another story entirely...
-Matt

Sundays Suck!

I hate sundays, absolutly can't stand them, even mondays aren't as bad because at least then i can see my friends. but sundays...there's nothing! at all! I know that you all don't care about wht i'm saying..well some of you do, some of you i'm sure are kind and compassionate people that care about every living thing, and then there are those other people that are probably only readig this to see if the person writing is worse off then you just so you can laugh at them. it's kinda sad that there are people out there that take joy from the suffering of others...but anywho, back to my random bitching. so i watched The Simpons today for the fist time in about 3 months, it was bullshit! yea it was sorta funny and everything but right at the end they started singing the Canadian national athem and they sung it freaking wrong!!!! seriously to me there's almost no bigger insult then fucking making fun of that song! i'm sure that they didn't mean it in that way, but still it's the song that every canadian knows and loves, little 6 year old school children can sing it, 100 year old grandfathers and grandmothers can sing it, it's one of the things that's makes a canadian, well, Canadian! I'm proud to be Canadian, atleast i'm not some fuckshit American whose got his head shoved way to far up his own ass that i can't see that the whole fucking world doesn't revolve arond me. Canada's got it great, we don't have the crime of other countries, we don't have the pollution (although yes i'm aware that canadians do make the most garbage in the world), we don't have the mass amount of wide spread poverty, we don't have the horrible health care of other countries, no over-population, no need to fear for our lives everyday, and no fascist dictator telling us how to live, most of all we don't have a stupid bull fucked president that wants to start a war with every country that doesn't see it his way. what a fucked up world this is, and with human nature the way it is, it can only get worse.
-Matt

blogging with myself!

ok ok maybe i should exsplain that other post from today...you see, i was in class at the time, com tech class to be exact, with nothing to do becasue the pressure washer was broken and had been taken in to get repaired. so i figured that i would post on here, that one was just a test to see if i could, and it went through, but for some reason the second one i tried to post didn't work...at all. needless to say i was pissed, it was really long and took a long time to do. but noooooooooooooo the fucking firewalls and shit didn't let me, so it's gone...all gone.....fuck! so rugby is in full swing now. our team merged with another one so we have more players now. it's great, i'm a flanker and i can outrun most of our wings, for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, wings are pretty much the fastest players on the team. also i'm a jumper on the line outs, once again for those of you who don't know what i'm talking about, it means that when the ball goes out of bounds the two teams line up and i'm the one who gets picked up by his shorts and has to grab the ball in the air and get it to my other team mates. i get an atomic freaking wedgie everytime i do it and it's not fun when i forget to shift beforehand...i'm not explaining that one. one of the things i hate the most about rugby is the shorts, they are about 8 inchs long...as you can see they are craaaaaaaaaazy short, so short in fact that it was a agreed by the entire team that we all have to wear spandex underneath, all agree except for one little fat kid named kyle who decided he didn't need them cuz his shorts were tight enough, it's not a pleasent experience playing with him, specially since all he does in a game is talk and nothing else, he sucks at everything, and basically he's our bitch. you'd think we'd feel sorry for him or something, but you've never had to spend 10 minutes around this kid. it's so bad that h only played 3 plays on the foot ball team earlier this year. but hey, i don't care....as long as he doesn't piss me off i'm fine.
-Matt

this is just a test to see if i can post

tralalalalala
Woooo! This site got some attention. *giggles* don't worry Matt. I know people have lives and I do too (just I am choosing to ignore it again at the moment). I was just wondering when you would notice my bitching about the site. I don't seem to be doing a good job of blogging regularly either, but I seem to be able to usually blog every Sunday or so.

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY LOUIS! Just needed to say that. *throws confetti around*

Anyway, back to my non-comprehensible mumbling. I noticed that I have been getting more and more depressed and sick as the weeks go by. No matter how hard I try though, I can never sleep enough to even be able to consider it a nap. I'm trying hard to make it so that I will be able to have a set bedtime. Since I have never had one before this is a really hard task for me. I always have to be doing something because I have so much to do. Promises to keep and people that I can't let down. I am never on the Internet anymore because I have so much else to do. The other night I spent most of my computer time typing out a story for a friend, but I haven't even been able to say hi to him once in the last 3 weeks. My chat time has gone down even more so then I had hoped. I know he will be mad at me because I am never on at the same time as him the few times I am online. If I don’t talk to him soon then I will just end up having to email him so he can post it for me instead. That is another thing too. When I don't have time to go on my messengers then I don’t have any time whatsoever to post. I just started posting for about 1 hour last week on this one forum, but didn't get a chance to post again even once since then. The days need more hours. That’s the only way I will be able to restart my life and not create an even bigger backlog by collapsing from exhaustion. Someone told me that it was great that I am living life to the fullest, but I don’t see how he can say that. Everyday I wake up makes life worse. I can't stand the fact that I never get any sleep. Friday I kind of went delusional and started talking in French to my mom telling her that my stomach felt bad and I felt like puking. Then I collapsed onto her bed and feel asleep until she woke me up and helped me downstairs to go back to sleep instead of going to school. I have so much to do and I try to finish it all quickly but I can't seem to be able to do anything fast anymore because I have been slowing down seeing as I never sleep. I know that the best thing for me to do now is buckle down and do nothing but work until I feel as if I am getting my life back together and then I can have fun. Although the most fun I have had in the last month is yesterday when I went to see x-men with my friends. I felt relaxed… more so then I have in a while. It really was the first time I was able to just not have to deal why anything and not feel like my stomach was about to rip apart and I was about to burst into tears. I even turned off my cell during the movie so that any unexpected things could wait till later. Somehow I even stopped myself from worrying and was able to have FUN! I could breath… I could even… really laugh… and not just pretend. Well I do laugh at anyone who says that they admire me for the fact that no matter what I am always smiling. The truth is it's either I smile or I burst into tears… and I can't stand the way I look when I cry so no point in crying. I haven't even figured out everything that is going wrong right now, but it does seem as though Murphy's law applies to me too. Maybe later when I am in a happy mood, I will figure out how to fix everything. Bah I'm not going to bother rereading this to see if I sound pathetic of not. No point since I doubt anybody will read this whole thing anyway. Woo I have faith in this site ^_^
-Dark Lily 0>--}----