Fire Buggin'

For no reason at all I figured that I should tell all of you about my various exploits involving fire. I don't why i thought of this, but i guess when you're lying in bed at 2 in the morning half asleep after watching a movie that had a horrible plot and even worse acting (Rat Race, actually i shouldn't say all that, personally i loved Rat Race) but still managed to make you laugh, you think of strange things.

Namely the first incident that comes to mind is one where i was younger, i was having a grand old time lighting matches in our back yard, seeing how close i could get the flame to my finger until i had to let go. Well the first time trying that I realised that fire is EXTREMELY hot, I promptly burnt my finger and threw the match to the ground, coincidentally it landed in a large clump of dead dry grass. It lit on fire and I was running around like an idiot tryng to put it out. While stumbling around like a buffoon in my search for any liquid to put out the flame, I came across a large bottle of cooking oil. Needless to say, cooking oil does not, in any way, shape or form, put out fire. The fire became bigger and eventually I put it out with our good friend water and covered the burnt patch with more dead grass(a little ironic??).

Another Incident that comes to mind is one that thankfully does not involve me. Some of my friends were out camping and they got it into their heads that throwing lit matches at each other would be fun, usually it is but not when there's dry grass under your feet. Soon enough there was a rather large grass fire on hand. This fire spread to underneath an old dilapitated truck that had attracted a colony of bees. Not being there I had to laugh, I imagined all of them running around trying to put out the fire while avoiding the very angry and upset bees.

I'm not even going to mention the game called Fire Ball, except that it involves a sock, a pop can, and some lighter fluid, other then that, due to certain....uh....legal reasons, I will say no more.

These are some of my more memorable fire experiences, and the moral of this blog is...don't play with fire...what the hell kind of moral is that??? Not playing with fire should be the most obvious thing ever, really, you should listen to your parents more. What kind of stupid, low-life, idiotic human being would do such an irresponsable thing?........Oh wait....heh, nevermind.
-Matt

Summer School Gym Class: The Aftermath

As none of you know(well most of none of you) I have recently been attending Summer school gym class. I guess it wasn't all that bad, if you don't mind waking up at 6 in the freaking morning and having to walk there for half a freaking hour just to get there earlier then everyone else and you can't leave later because if you fall asleep you won't get up in time to get there. But anyways, i guess it wasn't all bad, we did get to play frisbee. Nothing's better then chasing a floating plastic disc around a field....hmmmmm....seems strangely like what a dog would like to do....er.....anyways! But in defence of hating that class, i'd just like to point out that we did have to do a project, in which we were forced to stand infront of the whole class of 57 people and make them do a warm-up. Needless to say my group failed horribly and just because I felt like being a prick I made the winning team run laps thus forcing them to hate me. But the one thing I hated the most was during our schedualed floor hockey game time i was visiously attacked by a 230lb, 6 foot 1 inch (maybe i'm exaggerating a little) behemoth whose brain consists of little more then a pile of brown goo. He some got it into his thick skull that crosschecking me and hooking me with his hockey stick was fun. And this put me into a situation i like to call a Matt Paradox(named after me of course). Basically, I had a "can't rat, can't spaz" crisis, i couldn't rat on him without looking like an overgrown wussie and without gargantuan over there pounding me flat while saying "Me stupid! Must squish everyone!", and i can't spaz because of the reason above and not to metion that fighting will cause a quick expulsion from the class and a waste of the 50$ spent to get in. So what do I do? I bitch on the net. Hoohah! But now I'm done. Peace Out
-Matt

My First Blog!!


Hmmmmmm, wow my very first blog! I feel so proud. It's just like riding a bike for the very first time...well replace the bike with my computer...and the road/parking lot/driveway with the World Wide Web. But all in all it's generally the same feeling, well that is until you inevitably fall off your bike and crash into a tree thus terrifying you of ever riding a bike or any other form of transportation that involves wheels...ah screw bikes, I never did like them anyways, to much of a pain in the ass. But anyways I'll try to put blogs up as much as i can depending on my time and how much i feel like bitching. Peace Out!
-Matt