Portuguese Mafia: Fact or Fiction?

I don’t know if any other people have realized this but we have a serious problem on our hands. We have recently been overrun by the Portuguese Mafia! I know what you’re thinking, there’s no such thing as the Portuguese Mafia, right? Well that’s what I thought until a little while ago, until that is, I learned about their dirty little secret. And dirty is right! They have created a syndicated Ewok porn ring. They’ve taken our cute and cuddly wuddly little friends from “Return of the Jedi” and perverted them beyond our wildest dreams! Who knows what other sick, twisted and disgusting things they’ve done? Just sitting there at their computers, reading their web comics, borrowing other peoples web time at the library so they can go on longer on a faster Internet connection (Hi Ali!!!). But I warn all of you, take a stand before it’s too late, stop the Mafia before they take our precious care bears, or any other of our cherished childhood cartoon characters and pervert them too. There is no need to let them go unpunished for the injustice they have caused, stand together, united we will make the Mafia fall!!
-Matt
(As some of you can see I still have a quite active imagination, don’t worry I will promptly be beaten as soon as a certain Portuguese friend of mine reads this blog)